Even a single punch will decimate your life bar, sending you futilely searching for one of the random Pac-Man fruit that "reward" you a few pixels of health. I found this description especially apt - particularly after I died for the four hundred fifty-sixth time whilst throwing the controller at the wall, thanks to one of the many bullshit enemies.Īnd the enemies truly redefine "bullshit". Therefore, the designers summarize the game as ball-bustingly hard. Unfortunately, hard isn't an extreme enough phrase to adequately convey the difficulty of the game. Every second playing the game will be spent questioning, "Why? What substances must one ingest to produce and/or play this game? What utter contempt for humanity caused this abomination to be unleashed upon the universe?"Īnd let me emphasize that God Hand is hard. From the awkward controls, to the weird camera angle, to the hilariously bad dialogue, something went terribly wrong. A 3.0! You know a game is truly in its own class if it can garner a 3.0 from a major reviewer. Let's all get wasted tonight and make the shittiest game ever.
Clover Studios is now dead, and you will all be reassigned to work on Mega Man Battle Network 9.
Here's an accurate recreation of how God Hand came to be:Ĭlover Studios Game Designer: Hey, guys! Let's make another critically acclaimed, original, and artistic game like Viewtiful Joe and Okami!Ĭapcom Exec: Sorry everyone, making original and interesting games isn't profitable. The game oscillates between bad and astoundingly ultra-terrible, at which point it becomes so bad that it wraps back around to amazing. It is one of the stupidest, most ridiculous, most infuriating games I have ever had the (mis)pleasure of playing.